first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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