Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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