i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
