Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
