YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize