this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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