When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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