I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
