based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
