So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
