I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I still have a little drunk in my system
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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