Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize