is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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