sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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