I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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