There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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