she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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