That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
