The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
