Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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