MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
