So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
