Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize