Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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