If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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