We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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