i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
