We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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