I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
