thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize