I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize