i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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