I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
