His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize