im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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