eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
