yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
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you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
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And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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