I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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