All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I need water and some morals
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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