I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
