Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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