chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize