I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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