I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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