Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
