ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
