have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
