gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
