We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
