so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
