grandma shit on top of the toilet
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
