it hurts more in the daytime
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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