guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we're making bets on your personal life
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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