When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
