im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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