ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
