her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Dick very happy bro
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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