"it" just moved
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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