I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So. Much. Porn.
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